Saturday 25.10.08
Fly from UK to Lithuania
Overnight in Vilnius

Sunday 26.10.08
Walking tour of pre-war Jewish life in Vilna, including Synagogue Square and Monument of Gaon grave and ending with the Tolerance Centre
Visit to the Green House & Sugihara Monument
Visit to Ponary

We began the morning by considering a question asked three times: Why are we here? Why are we here? Why are we here?and continuing to look at the difference between the past and history. Vilnius was know as the Jerusalem of the north. Over two centuries it was the seat of Jewish culture and learning, Zionism had its beginnings here. By the end of the Holocaust 95% of the Jews of Lithuania had been murdered. It was the firs, the fastest and the most total attempt to completely wipe out the Jewish population.

With these thoughts we set out to discover what remains of Jewish Vilnius. A street within a short walk of our hotel was the starting point for our attempt to find evidence of what remained. The result? Very little. Most buildings we were asked to focus on, with the exception of the Choraline synagogue, gave any indication of their former life. The building below was a prayer house, but there were few others. The double arched window with the circle above was the only clue.

Walking into the ghetto area again suggested little remains and using a map and pictures of former times, we tried to reconstruct and imagine where buildings such as the Great and Gaon Synagogues would have stood. It was very difficult. Virtually all evidence has been obliterated.

During our walking tour we came across some Hebrew graffiti written in the grime of a window. In it, a Holocaust survivor describes how all her family perished.

A little further down the same street was a plaque outside a building which proclaimed that it was constructed in the 16th century and prior to 1941 served the Jewish community for 80 years as a house of prayer. It now houses the Austrian embassy.

The morning concluded with a visit to the Tolerance Centre. This modern building houses artefacts associated with Jewish ritual and everyday life, together with paintings and other art work. We focused on 4 small pieces, the work of an eight year old Samuel Bak whose prodigious talent could be seen even at this early age. We then studied a work entitled Self Portrait - painted in adulthood - powerful and symbolic with many layers of meaning.

In the afternoon we travelled the short distance to Ponary. This is a beautiful pine and birch forest. Although the day was cold it was clear, the low afternoon sun made the trees glow with autumn colour and the fragrance of pine filling the air.

This beautiful place was the site of mass killing.

70,000 Jews were shot here. Their remains buried in huge pits, to be exhumed for burning when the Germans realised the end of the war was drawing near and their crime had to be concealed. There are various monuments on this site, but only one person is named and has a personal memorial - a doctor Hilaris Feigis.

The memorial below says, “Eternal memory of the 70,000 Jews of Vilnius and its environs who were murdered and burnt here in, Panerai (Ponary), by Nazi executioners and their accomplices”. The final image shows one of the vast pits where this happened. This photo cannot do justice to the scale.

Perhaps hardest for me when I stood here was the realisation that had my Lithuanian grandfather not left this country during the pogroms at the beginning of the last century, I would not have been able to witness this today.

Monday 27.10.08

Visit to Ninth Fort, Kovno Ghetto, Lietukis garage, Choral Synagogue
Transport from Kaunas to Vilnius via the shtetl of Zezmariai

Tuesday 28.10.08
Ghetto walk

in the old town of Vilna
- HKP Labour Camp remnants
- Old Jewish cemetery memorial and New Jewish cemetery
Flight to Warsaw

Wednesday 29.10.08
Group presentations
Visit to the Janusz Korczak orphanage
Visit to the Ghetto wall, remains of Jewish street/courtyard, Mila 18 and Umschlagplatz
Departure to Treblinka – visit to the memorial

Thursday 30.10.08
Transfer to Łódź
Visit to Jewish Cemetery and Radegast station memorial site
Transfer to Krakow

Friday 31.10.08
Morning walking tour of Podgorze - the site of the former ghetto
Departure to Oświęcim
Visit to Oświęcim synagogue
Visit to Auschwitz I

Saturday 01.11.08
Full day in Auschwitz II Birkenau

Sunday 02.11.08
Transfer from Oświęcim to Kraków leisure time and return flight home

The journey to this point has been long and complex - and will be revealed as I continue to update. Since applying for the fellowship I have read Jan Karski’s book, “The Story of the Secret State” and am currently reading Martin Gilbert’s awful book - and awful in the real sense of the word, “The Holocaust - The Jewish Tragedy”. Words (apart from unspeakable) cannot describe the depths of horror and evil which emanate from every page, lightened only on brief occasions with glimpses of humanity. This 900+ page tome recounts the experiences of individuals and communities … I read it in bed - as it is the only time in the day I have. Each night I think … tonight’s reading cannot be any worse than last night’s … and it is … and it is… I am making myself read, for I feel although I feel I know quite a lot about the Holocaust already, I need to immerse myself in an understanding of human behaviour. Thank goodness, though I only have two more night’s reading to go.

And so what of recent happenings? I am fortunate to know another of this year’s fellows and we happened to be at the same conference together this last week. One session was an experiential exploration of the Holocaust through dance and movement. The stimulus video was Spielberg’s “Broken Silence” … must get a copy. A very powerful experience emotionally, being described by one of the participants as being, “through a pool of tears” of which there were many.

I know this will be a life changing experience and at the end of this year, I will be a different person.