I suppose I have been putting off beginning this blog - partly through busyness, but partly through a whole range of feelings, emotions, experiences. However, I have just received a message from Sarah giving me my login at the IWM, so I suppose it has spurred me to make a start.

The journey to this point has been long and complex - and will be revealed as I continue to update. Since applying for the fellowship I have read Jan Karski’s book, “The Story of the Secret State” and am currently reading Martin Gilbert’s awful book - and awful in the real sense of the word, “The Holocaust - The Jewish Tragedy”. Words (apart from unspeakable) cannot describe the depths of horror and evil which emanate from every page, lightened only on brief occasions with glimpses of humanity. This 900+ page tome recounts the experiences of individuals and communities … I read it in bed - as it is the only time in the day I have. Each night I think … tonight’s reading cannot be any worse than last night’s … and it is … and it is… I am making myself read, for I feel although I feel I know quite a lot about the Holocaust already, I need to immerse myself in an understanding of human behaviour. Thank goodness, though I only have two more night’s reading to go.

And so what of recent happenings? I am fortunate to know another of this year’s fellows and we happened to be at the same conference together this last week. One session was an experiential exploration of the Holocaust through dance and movement. The stimulus video was Spielberg’s “Broken Silence” … must get a copy. A very powerful experience emotionally, being described by one of the participants as being, “through a pool of tears” of which there were many.

I know this will be a life changing experience and at the end of this year, I will be a different person.